Finally, getting it together

It's been a week since I've written/vented. I had no energy or life in me to pour my emotions out; even though I was overwhelmed with many. After I would say approx 8 days or so; I was in a horrible phase (yes, a slump) I finally pulled myself out of it and fought back. In more ways than one I can say.

I let go of an illusion that "my beauty" was never going to be the same due to a physical ailment. I know it sounds somewhat superficial but I was at a point where I never wanted to be seen again because I believed I wasn't attractive anymore. WTH??? Have I not learned anything over the last - years? I know very well beauty is NOT on the outside. It's the inside of you that makes you a beautiful person. I realized I had to stop worrying about the "Impairment" I am suffering and my eyes were opened to the BEST part of me; my personality, my soul, my heart. ME.

So, I pulled myself together went on a shopping spree with my fiance & his support through this phase has lead me to "Getting myself back on track." I dolled myself up as much as I could and this was the result. ------>>>>>>>

I must encourage myself everyday to believe that I can conquer ANY & EVERYTHING every day of my life.

The remainder of that day I was taken out to dinner (although fidgeting every minute; felt like everyone was staring at me and knew my secret pain). I was also taken out to enjoy some music. Let's just say the night was filled with compliments on how "Pretty" I looked, which kind of made me feel bad again. Once again "Physical Beauty" was bothering me because I had trouble feeling it. UNTIL someone came up to me and said "I just had to tell you, your smile lightens up this whole room. I told my wife that and she agreed." Hearing the words come out of this stranger's mouth & it was respectful comment made me see that I AM beautiful INSIDE even when I can't be on the outside. I felt alive & shined through my hidden sorrow.

It took some complete strangers, my family, friends & love of my life to "Get my head out of my ass" and get it together and I haven't stopped smiling since. I am adjusting to my "Impairment" and have found many alternatives & remedies to help me LOOK attractive because now I know & feel beautiful on the INSIDE...

I finally got it all together.... ..

Neena44